Kidnap Retreat: Contacting the Parents:

After the cutoff time, parents of each of the youth signed up will need to be contacted at a time when the youth is not likely to be around. This conversation is a little tricky. Most parents will be greatly amused by the idea and enjoy "putting one over" on their child. Some will appreciate the opportunity for their child to be included and hope that their child will become more a part of the group as a result of the retreat. A few parents will have a difficult time understanding what you are saying, and conceptualizing the whole thing.

There will always be a few youth that have other activities scheduled that will preclude their participation in the retreat part of the weekend. This is a given and perfectly all right. An "escape hatch" needs to be built into the transition from the public event to the retreat. The youth can go to the public event and then be quietly taken home after the event - perhaps by arranging the rides so that all those needing out are in one car, or perhaps waiting until they have been taken to the retreat site, and then having a driver gather them and take them home.

A few of the parents will not be able to make a decision of this sort without their child's approval. This is a touchy matter, for if they do discuss it with their child then most likely everyone else in the group will know about the retreat. I tell the parents this directly and bluntly. If the parent simply cannot commit their child to the retreat, then I suggest that the retreat probably isn't right for their child anyway and tell them of the "escape hatch" provision. If the child is later disappointed by being left out, then this can be a "learning opportunity" for the parent.

In this conversation, outline clothes and equipment the youths will need for the retreat. It is probably best to have a check list and read it to them, so that you can be assured of consistency. The parents or guardians are to pack these items after the child has left for the public event.