Sleeping arrangements on trips

Generally, if the sleeping facilities require roommates of 2-3, have a small committee hammer out combinations that are compatible. Friends or family members can be together for this. Siblings often pack together and need to room together. Siblings are also the only ones that can be put together in a double bed.

Kidnap retreat: Variations

Variations:

• Skip the public activity and come to their homes to pick them up. This requires more pre-arrangement with parents, and much more opportunity for a youth to refuse to go.
• Combine the public event with an Unknown Destination or a Lockin on the Move. At the destination of the public event is a bus or vans, warmed up and ready to go with all their luggage loaded on it.

Kidnap retreat: Pitfalls and problems

• Try to avoid having a closed group of friends. This is somewhat difficult to control, but it will help if the public event is not something that is likely to appeal to only a subset of the potential group. Calling specific youths and cajoling them into signing up is worth the effort for something of this sort.
• Again be alert to youth that really don't want to be there. They can be a problem. If it can't be helped, at least acknowledge the validity of their pique and apologize. Then try to help them be included and feel important to the retreat.
• Make it clear that this was a one time event and not something they can expect again. Being tricked one time only can be viewed as funny by most youth.

Kidnap Retreat: The Transition:

This is the fun part. While everyone is at the public event one or more drivers will then go the youths' homes to pick up the gear that their parents have packed for them, after they left the house. All this gear is then taken to the retreat location. If these drivers can also set up the retreat site and have a snack ready to greet you, all the better.

At the end of the public event, activate the "escape hatch" for any youth that will not be going on the retreat. Without comment or explanation, drive straight for the retreat site. Once there, point out their gear, and state that they have been "kidnapped" with their parent's assistance, for the weekend.

There may still be one or two youth that have obligations that their parents did not know of, or who simply are not willing to go along with the program. It is generally best to take these home. If they cannot be easily swayed, they will be a detriment to the program.

Late signups

Sometimes you can add people late without a great deal of penalty but this makes it even more likely for families to procrastinate in getting reservations in in the future.  Even if it is ok from an internal point of view (finances, planning, etc) Charge a late fee or some other penalty. 

Kidnap Retreat: Contacting the Parents:

After the cutoff time, parents of each of the youth signed up will need to be contacted at a time when the youth is not likely to be around. This conversation is a little tricky. Most parents will be greatly amused by the idea and enjoy "putting one over" on their child. Some will appreciate the opportunity for their child to be included and hope that their child will become more a part of the group as a result of the retreat. A few parents will have a difficult time understanding what you are saying, and conceptualizing the whole thing.

There will always be a few youth that have other activities scheduled that will preclude their participation in the retreat part of the weekend. This is a given and perfectly all right. An "escape hatch" needs to be built into the transition from the public event to the retreat. The youth can go to the public event and then be quietly taken home after the event - perhaps by arranging the rides so that all those needing out are in one car, or perhaps waiting until they have been taken to the retreat site, and then having a driver gather them and take them home.

A few of the parents will not be able to make a decision of this sort without their child's approval. This is a touchy matter, for if they do discuss it with their child then most likely everyone else in the group will know about the retreat. I tell the parents this directly and bluntly. If the parent simply cannot commit their child to the retreat, then I suggest that the retreat probably isn't right for their child anyway and tell them of the "escape hatch" provision. If the child is later disappointed by being left out, then this can be a "learning opportunity" for the parent.

In this conversation, outline clothes and equipment the youths will need for the retreat. It is probably best to have a check list and read it to them, so that you can be assured of consistency. The parents or guardians are to pack these items after the child has left for the public event.

Kidnap Retreat: The public event

Key to making the retreat a success is drawing the needed youth to the public event. This means that the event must appeal enough to the target group that they won't just attend, but are willing to sign up in advance. It is currently difficult in most places to get young people to commit early to an event, so this becomes a major problem. One possibility is a concert, a theme park or other public event that requires purchase of a certain number of tickets. It then becomes easier to say to them that if they don't get their reservations in early they may be left behind. Be sure to have an absolute cutoff date that allows time to make arrangements for the retreat.

Although this will cause some griping and complaining and perhaps pressure from youth and parent, this event should be limited to people who are "church members or likely to be involved in youth group this year." Simply explain that the purpose of the (public) event is to act as a group builder for the youth group and that "friends" will be a distraction.

Another difficult issue is that the students cannot have their own car at the public event (they can, perhaps, bring them to the church). Churches with vans or buses have it made, and, if it makes economic sense, renting a van for this event makes it easier to insist that the whole group go together.

Kidnap Retreat: Preparation

Since retreat facilities are often booked up solid, especially in the Fall, it is important to plan this event far enough in advance to secure reservations for the camp or retreat center to be used. The surprise works best if the location of the retreat is fairly close to the public event (although I've had young people patiently and without question let me drive them 30 minutes "out of the way" without question). Often an area has a number of resources that have not been explored or used by a particular group. Service organization often have or know of camps and retreat centers, as do "Y"s and other churches. The best surprise retreat I have done used a partially abandoned luxury hotel a few minutes outside of town that was owned by a local church. Just exploring that facility was major entertainment for our group.

As a part of the preparation, arrange for other counselors for the retreat. Also, someone, perhaps the other counselors or perhaps youth committee members or parents of youth that will undoubtedly be going need to be recruited to gather the youth's overnight bags while the public activity is going on.

Kidnap retreat: Why do this surprise

Besides the wonderful moment of watching their faces when they realize what has happened, this activity has a number of benefits. First and foremost, it is often hard to get busy kids away from their world to go on a retreat even though everyone agrees that they will enjoy and benefit from the retreat, if they actually go. The surprise approach simply gives them a little help in clearing their calendars. If the retreat is to be a planning retreat this is even more helpful since most youth would rather avoid such an event.

Additionally, this approach will often snag young people that might not otherwise sign up for a retreat, most notably the shy and the skeptical. They can often be enticed into signing up for the public event, and once on the retreat itself the barriers can be broken down and they can end the experience feeling a part of the group and committed to its future. Since a group formed in such a random manner tends to be particularly diverse in its makeup, bringing them together for a weekend allows some very important group building.

Kidnap Retreat

[This will be an extended discussion with multiple posts over time]

A retreat is a particularly good way to start a program year and this idea is a good way assure that you get a good turnout at the retreat. In brief, plan a simple startup activity which requires a sign-up that will attract a large percentage of the potential group. Then arrange secretly with the parents to "kidnap" the youth for a full, first-class weekend retreat following the publicized event.