An alternative to "scholarships"

As I have said in other posts, many families will not apply for "scholarships" for youth events, no matter what.  It is a matter of pride.  However, one system I found worked was to offer a "stipend" (meaningless word in this context -- it just sounds good).  The first 15 campers that applied would get $x toward their fees.  Of course, there will be those that ask for it that don't deserve it, but there is no perfect system.  Most of the applications will be from families that need the help.  There may be other gimmicks for giving help to those who won't ask for a "scholarship."  I'd love to hear from people about other alternatives.  Just make a comment to this post.

Toxic Charity #4.5: Making charity less toxic:

• Try to sensitize the group, perhaps through role play, to not making comments that show how much money they have.
  
  • Such as: “I go to at least one big concert each month;” “I only buy my jeans from the best stores;” “I got a new car for graduation;” “after I get home, my family is taking a vacation to the Bahamas...”
    
  • Encourage your kids to listen more than they talk. Get them to ask questions of their new friends. (family, favorite music, do they play “football,” what is school like?) The less they talk about themselves the less they are likely to make their new friends feel inferior.
    

Toxic Charity #4.4: Making charity less toxic:

• Limit, as much as practical, visually obvious markers of coming from a different cultural or socio-economic group.
  
  • If the local group is not warning shorts, neither should the visiting group. These kinds issues can be determined ahead of time by asking people, such as the receiving agency, blunt questions. Beware that often the receiving agency, not wanting to offend the group, will hedge on their comments. Insist on “what do your people do, not just what is acceptable.”
    
  • No expensive clothing, jewelry, electronics. (I know, you can't wrest the cell phone from their hands – but you can forbid their use on the work site – “you don't want it to be broken so you can't use it the rest of the week.”)
    

Toxic Charity #4.3: Making charity less toxic:

• Focus on relationships
  
  • As mentioned (several times) before, some of the best aspects of service projects and mission trips are relationships. It is not just “making new friends” which isn't to be sneered at, but is not the whole story.
    
  • In working together, from different cultures greater understandings occur in both direction. And “different cultures” isn't just different countries but different parts of the country or different socio-economic neighborhoods. Anything where stereotyping occurs.
    
  • Make sure work teams include people from both cultures
    
  • Try to make sure someone from the receiving culture can do something the sending team cannot do. They will appreciate being able to teach others their skill. Learning a new skill is always beneficial.
    
  • It always did my kids good to see elderly women (in Mexico) able to outwork and outlast them.
    
  • Require that every grouping including meals have a mixture of both cultures.
    
  • Under the topic of “trips” in this blog are a number hints on preparing a group to work with a different culture in a culturally sensitive fashion.
    

Toxic Charity #4.2: Making charity less toxic:

• Make sure that what is done and left behind is sustainable
  
  • One agency had a policy that we could not bring or leave behind a cement mixer
    
    • They had a couple of stated reasons (but I think there were some unstated reasons having to do with cultural differences)
      
    • They didn't want a machine that worked for awhile and allowed the people to forget how to mix cement on the ground – or become spoiled – and then have the machine break.
      
    • Such devices require maintenance and parts. If these are not provided on a continuing basis they are stuck with a piece of junk
      
    • This policy drove my performance oriented adults crazy. They never got the logic of why they had to do things in an unproductive fashion.
      
  • To use such a device and take it home with you is even worse, emphasizing the difference between rich and poor and makes the people yearn for such devices
    
  • Putting in a water well is, of course, immensely valuable. But you haven't actually provided a well until you have provided training in usage, maintenance and repair and provided funds on a forever basis.
    

Toxic Charity #4.1: Making charity less toxic:

• Work through an agency that understands the local people and situation. Agencies have to be selected carefully. There are three basic criteria, but they are not necessarily coordinated.
  
  • First, it is of the utmost value if the agency is indigenous. If the leaders are a part of and come out of the group that is being served they will be less likely to allow an outside group be condescending or helpful in an unhelpful way.
    
  • Second, you need an agency that has a track record for working well with local people and with outside groups that need to have sense of accomplishment.
    
  • Look for agencies that are not just good at caring, but also good at organizing. As I've said elsewhere, there is no greater enthusiasm killer than getting to a work site and find neither a valuable project nor materials needed to do whatever the assigned job is. Some time can and needs to be spent getting acquainted, getting a tour and so forth, but your group needs to be productive fairly quick on the first day.
    

Toxic Charity #3.3: The values that come from helping others:

• Relationships!! The interactions between helpers and helped (and the roles kept changing back and forth!) is worth everything. Some of my youth established correspondence with their new friends.
  

Toxic Charity #3.2: The values that come from helping others:

• Sometimes my group was able to do things others couldn't do. For example I had a number of computer whizzes in my group and even though it was not a part of the plan either for us or for the receiving agencies, twice, in different situations, they were able to recondition abandoned computers and network them, providing a significant service. One year an adult counselor who was a building contractor with specialized tools was able to take a few youth and do major construction in a Katrina devastated area.

Toxic Charity #3.1: The values that come from helping others:

• These trips often had life-changing effect on our youth. It is true that some quickly forget and return to crass materialism, but many do not. One youth actually moved to Mexico on finishing school and became a teacher, other changed the direction of their lives. More commonly, the youth went on with their plans but were forever more sensitive and aware of the issues of poverty and oppression. This is a big enough reason to keep doing these things!
  

Toxic Charity #3: The values that come from helping others:

Having listed problems with Mission trips I want to emphasize that these are no excuse for not doing Mission trips or works of charity. There is such an emphasis today on the down sides of helping that we might consider that to be politically correct. But, to quote Walter Brueggemann “When did compassion, concern for the poor and downtrodden become politicized?”  This is a basic part of the Judeo-Christian religions! We are not allowed to dismantle current ways of helping others until we find a better way. We can only improve or transition from one method to another, but always doing what we can individually and collectively.

Toxic Charity #2.6: Problems that can result from helping others:

Not allowing people who could do things themselves, to do so. Work together so that everyone learns how to do each skill. This actually cuts both ways, by working together my youth went home with new, enabling skills they learned from the local people and vice versa. But also, do not leave a concrete mixer without teaching the local people how to use it, care for it and repair it. You will also need to provide the financial means for maintaining such items after you have left otherwise there is no reason to bring it and use it.

Toxic Charity #2.5: Problems that can result from helping others:

• Helping agencies that I have worked with have said to me privately that the biggest benefit for both the recipient group and the “helping” group is the cross-cultural interactions among them. The relationships among the groups is helpful for all and gives both groups insights into the humanity of the others. I've seen amazing barriers and prejudices broken down – in both directions. This important need can be lost if:
  
  • If your group is so focused on the project that they push the local people away. There will always be other mission trip groups coming to finish the project. Becoming obsessed with “finishing” the project to the detriment of the relationships is toxic.
    
  • When there are breaks and meals, the two groups fall into two groups with no mixing between them.
    
  • The group's prejudices and cultural insensitivity build walls instead of bridge
    

Toxic Charity #2.4: Problems that can result from helping others:

Sometimes groups coming in can do more damage than help. Is the project they are undertaking within their skill set? Even amateurs can eventually learn to run an electric screwdriver, but can the group successfully frame out a house? At one work site, I toured a “dorm” that other groups had started. Most of it was going to have to be torn down: the concrete columns were full of holes from not being packed down when poured, and an outside, load-bearing wall was started from both ends and they did not come close to meeting in the middle. Those groups should have stayed home and sent money, or recruited someone who knew construction, or taken on a task appropriate for them (we built a non load bearing compound wall).

Toxic Charity #2.3: Problems that can result from helping others:

Sending/giving people stuff they don't need or want. After Katrina many churches and service organizations in our area gathered 18 wheelers full of clothes, shoes, etc. When our group got to New Orleans to do clean up and restoration we became aware that most of these things sent were moldering in warehouses. Unsorted, undistributed. There are several causes of this:

• • 18 wheelers were coming in from all over the country. Even if there hadn't been a disaster to occupy their time they could never have processed that much stuff.
    
  • A lot of what was sent was worn out or broken. They couldn't have been used.
    
  • Recipients needs are very specific items – size 6 etc. Finding what was needed when you didn't even have a place to live or water to drink would have been impossible.
    
  • If people are given the money or gift certificates to large stores (that exist in the place where the disaster struck) is much more effective. Giving to a disaster agency who make make things happen on the site is even better.
    
  • Even though people were “only trying to help,” giving people who have lost everything things them they don't want or need or giving them other people's castoffs, adds to their discouragement.
    

Toxic Charity #2.2: Problems that can result from helping others:

It is easy for a mission trip to be designed to be so attractive to the young people that the “mission” part of it is incidental. I've seen/heard of too many mission trips that consisted of a day or three of service or street corner evangelism and then the rest of the time being tourists or relaxing on the beach. If this is what it take to successfully form a group, maybe it doesn't really need to happen. This can leave a bad taste in the mouth of the culture into which the group drops – if they are even aware of the group's presence at all. This is a colossal waste of money and energy. It was my practice to have a celebratory day at the end of a Mission trip. I knew my kids had their priorities right when, twice, this event was rained out – and the group didn't care! They were there to build houses, not have fun.

Toxic Charity #2.1: Problems that can result from helping others:

These problems range from broad sociological issues to simple side effects.

• The biggest issue is simply disabling those one is trying to help. If the recipients get the impression that only wealthy and powerful people, like the group coming in, can do something, then this contributes to their sense of dependence and powerlessness. Different people react in different ways to this sense: some resent it; some will consciously or unconsciously sabotage the project; others will care less and less and try to help themselves less and less. None of this is good and no one benefits from it. It would have been better to stay home.
  

Toxic Charity #1: Introduction

This is an old topic and an old term that has been discussed for many years in the world of “mission trips,” and “service projects.” There is a recent book by this title. I've not read the book although my wife has and it has engendered good discussions around the house. However I will be approaching topic as a youth worker leading/teaching youth.
Future posts will be about toxic aspects of mission trips and work projects, then posts about the value of mission trips and work projects and finally some comments about how to make these efforts as non-toxic as possible.

Interruptions

In youth ministry classes I have done over the years I always had a line along the line of: "Programs and activities are what we do while we wait for an opportunity for ministry."  Often the interruptions and unplanned activities are what are important.  These are the serious, deep, spiritual conversations, the taking care of the youth in trouble or the family in crisis.  Sometimes they are simply the times when relationships are established or strengthened. 

Some hints:

• Always view interruptions as opportunities not distractions.  Kids are more important than programs.
• Recognize that the youth will not remember the program (except in rare situations) but they will remember when you were "there for them."
• Try to be expendable during planned programs and activities, so that you can step out of the event and take care of the ministry opportunity thrust upon you.
• Try to have leaders that won't fee abandoned if you disappear leaving them in charge
• When you are not in charge, don't take time off for your own interests or activities but look around for something/someone that needs to be cared for.