Gender specific sleeping arrangements

Letting them sleep wherever they want is generally a bad idea. But having reasonable controls and practices can get tricky. It is easier to start out with strict sleep rules and lighten up than the other way around.

• Sometimes for one particular activity sleeping all together maybe acceptable, but make sure this is known ahead of time so they can come prepared with appropriate sleeping attire.
• Plan for one person (you) to sleep in a neutral space between the sleeping areas or at least at the door of the appropriate space.

• If there is an emergency in the middle of the night you can be found and reached easily from either sleeping space (give this as a public explanation of why you are there).
  
• It is easier to keep track of kids: sneaking out, sleep-walking, having night terrors, or having to go to the bathroom (You don't have to tell the youth this reason).
  
• You are more likely to get a full night's sleep (you don't have to tell your fellow counselors this little secret).
  
• Although there is a trend toward a practice of having adults not sleep in a room with youth, this should be the policy only if people are in 2-3 person rooms. In mass sleeping situations, it is better for there to be an adult in the room or the kids will never get to sleep. Also, groups of unsupervised youth can sometimes do dumb things, even if they are “good kids.”
  
• If it is necessary to have everyone sleep in a single space have the genders on opposite sides of the room with a buffer space with someone (you) in this “no-person land.” This makes the situation more comfortable for the few youth who are particularly self-conscious and there is no particular downside to having them divided.
  

Sleep issues on a trip or retreat

It is generally accepted that later adolescent's circadian clock is off by about 4 hours from adult society's. We can accommodate, take advantage and help them deal with it.

• Don't call them on a day off from school until after Noon.
• Lock-ins and other late night activities are good and work easily – for them.
• On week long trips, plan on at least the last night for them to stay up to 2-3 in the morning.
• On a week end retreat, church camp or activity where there is flexibility, consider having activities that last until 2-3 am and then sleep until 10 am.
• Remember that middle schoolers are not self regulating and if they do not get enough sleep they'll get sick.
• At an event when you have to abide by society's schedule (have to be at a work site by 8am, for example) simply acknowledge the problem and that you are sympathetic, but everyone is going to have to lump it, go to bed at a reasonable time and get up early. There is no point in fighting over it.

Lock-ins: Some variations

Just throwing out some different approaches to the traditional Lock-in. Each idea however assumes that it is an all-nighter. What other variations are out there?

• A MAD lock-in (Music, Art, Drama): have specialists come in to lead hands-on music, art or drama projects. Have everything working toward designing a worship service. Maybe plan on doing the service with the whole congregation at some point.
• A Movie Lock-in. Go to one or more movies in theaters, then come back and watch movies at the church. With theological reflection, of course.
• A progressive lock-in. Every hour or so go to different location, like participant's homes, for a portion of the lock-in. Of course have these per-arranged.
• A service lock-in where you do projects for various agencies such as making hygiene kits for Presbyterian Disaster Assistance, or sorting clothes at the local emergency shelter.
• 30 hour famine
• A surprise lock-in. Maybe I'll do a separate post on this one. It works but has to be done carefully.

Lock-in alternatives: A Lock-out

Instead of being confined to one place, spend the night going places, doing things.

• Meet at the usual lock-in place and have arrangements with parents for pick-up at that location in the morning.
• Go from place to place, checking out what goes on in your community late at night
• Some things to check out:
  • All night diners
  • Late night movie showing
  • Take cookies to Fire-department, Police department, Emergency room (per-arrange these and then double check just before going to them, in case of an emergency)
  • Tour of night shift at a factory, printing facility, etc
  • Night shelter – perhaps serving breakfast to them in the morning
  • Airport

Lock-ins -- best practices

Things to keep in mind in order to have a safe and pleasant (relatively speaking) lock-in

• Have an opposite gender counselor commit to staying up all night or get a pair to agree to spell each other. There should be one of each gender awake the entire night, even if all the youth conk out
  
• Have the event in the church or at least close to home so neither you nor any of your counselors are having to drive very far the next morning.
  
• If someone absolutely has to leave early, require that a parent pick them up. This will cut down on kids just deciding they want to leave and eliminate the possibility of misunderstandings.
  
• When the group leaves to go somewhere, remind them of any neighbors, so that they are not disturbing the peace when they are outside.
• Be sure to call the police department and give them a head's up that you all will be wandering around the church all night. If you will be going out at any point be sure to mention it.
• You might bring a spare t-shirt and a towel for yourself to cleanup and refresh in the middle of the night.
  
• Observe the normal precautions of there never being two people alone together
  
• Have lots of food but make sure that there is adequate food for restricted diets and proper precautions for food allergies
  
• Be alert for prank calling and texting in the middle of the night
  

Lock-ins -- Things to do

There needs to be a constant stream of things to do. Something planned for every hour.

• This assumes the obvious: Bible study, board games, worship and the like.
  You might consider starting the event late (9 or 10 pm) for kids that have other activities or obligations that evening.
  
• Plan activities that require thought earlier in the event.
  
• Sardines and other active games in the main building is a great middle of the night activity.
  
• If held in a large building and/or an old building, explore in the middle of the night all the hidden, odd, underground, and/or scary spaces
  
• Have a selection of food. You might put it out progressively.
  
• Making Ice cream sundaes at 1am is a good activity. This can be a “competitive event” (in teams) with recognition for best looking, best tasting, most creative, etc.
  
• You need something memorable for each Lock-in. This can be a trip somewhere, a scavenger hunt of some sort, go to a midnight showing of a movie together.
  
• Indoor frisbee miniature  golf
  Have someone bring a couple of (boring) movies to put on after 2am. Most kids will conk out.
  
• Go out for breakfast.
  

Lock-ins -- basics

Sorry, lock-ins are good, helpful group builders. Since youth work is about youth and not us we sometimes have to sacrifice ourselves for the kids.

• The good news: these get easier and easier as you get older.
  
• One of the best things about a lock-in is that it will be a random collection out of the group that will stay up all night, thus forcing a mixing of the group. This phenomenon plus the breaking down of inhibitions because of lack of sleep can bond divided, cliquish groups.
  
• Do no allow sleeping bags or pajamas, etc. Otherwise the lock-in then becomes a co-ed sleepover, which is a whole different event. Pillows are acceptable, however.
  
• Have a designated, supervised sleep area for those that absolutely have to get at least a little sleep.
  
• When talking to parents assure them that there will be a designated, supervised sleep area for those that absolutely have to get at least a little sleep. If their kid doesn't sleep, it was his/her decision; that option was there...