Being an ADD/ADHD youth worker #11. Structure, routine and list making are important.

List making is one of the most common suggestions from the experts and as long as you factor in the other hints, I agree.

• This keeps us from getting so far afield that we lose track of some of the things we need to keep track of.
• For example, if I'm shopping for groceries, I'm in an environment with lots of interesting things to pay attention to. Without a list I will invariably forget things – and come home with who knows what.
• This also allows setting priorities. My lists are usually on the computer and rank-ordered so that an interesting thing lower on the list will only be visited briefly before I get back to the important stuff.

Routine also keeps us from wandering off and failing to get around to something.

• I'm in the office at 7, when there are no other distraction.
• I put on music, and then spend, in order,
• 15 minutes in a series of prayers (I can't pray for 15 minutes but I can pray for a minute at a time for 15 times...)
• 15 minutes Bible study
• 15 minutes reading
• 15 minutes research
• 15 minutes email correspondence
• This way I am sure to get all these things in

What goes on at school or the schools can affect youth group

A youth group is not independent of the school(s) represented in it.

• Like it or not, school social strata affects the group. It can be minimized and I have posts about this, but the strata will show forth from time to time regardless
• What sub-groups are represented? (Band kids, jocks, etc)
  • How well do they interact
  • Who is sensitive to their social position and who is not?
  • Who is a wannabe for a different group?
• Are there power struggles that reflect social structures at the school? (One of the reasons I don't like Youth Group Officers – this brings out competition)
• Is the support or opposition to an idea, suggestion, program, etc based on social issues rather than reason (If so-and-so is for it then whats-r-name will automatically be against it)
• School events can conflict with youth group events
• School events can affect the group beyond just scheduling conflicts, however
  • If some of your youth are cheerleaders or wannabes, cheerleader tryouts can not only be a scheduling problem, but a social problem as ill-will, hostility, superpatriatism, political and social maneuverings abound.
  • You may need to console those passed over without insulting those who made it

Being an ADD/ADHD youth worker #10: ADD people are incorrectly viewed as multi-taskers

We “multi-task” the same way as single core computers. Which is to say, not at all.

• What single core computers and people do is do task-switching.
• Most people do task-switching slowly, people with ADD task-switch rapidly and computers in an instant.
• Task-switch in this fashion makes us very efficient when we are not overloaded.
• However, as the time slices devoted to a particular task get shorter and farther between, any particular task can become too slow – like overloaded computers.
• There has to be a balance achieved for efficiency
• So we have to have a limited number of distractions at a time

School events can conflict with youth group events

You can get the school calendar(s) from the school web sites and build your schedule from these

• Don't try to have a Retreat on Homecoming weekend unless it follows the homecoming activities
• Same with other major school events
• If you accommodate the schedule of the majority school and not the minority school represented, you can, rightly, be accused of favoritism and lose a part of your group
• If many of your group are in the band, you have to know the band schedule
• Same with any other school group or club
• Note teacher days and other 3-4 day breaks. Many families takes these for trips and family activities
• Is there a school art show, talent show, musical or play that some of your group participate in? (maybe go as a group, to support them)
• You cannot accommodate every school event or activity, but if you know your kids you can know which ones will affect your program

Being an ADD/ADHD youth worker # 9: Stimulus control is important.

We all have a limited number of tracks. Too many diversions can lower our efficiency.

• We can't do just one thing, but we also can't do 14.
• So we do need a controlled environment because we are not very good at ignoring stimuli
• If there is something going on, we will notice it
• This is one of the places where we annoy other people.
  • We will give anybody our full attention for 15 minutes or until something else gets our attention – whichever comes first.
  • It is not that that person is not important, we just need to take in whatever else is going on also.
  • It takes a LOT of practice on our part to take in whatever is going on without it seeming like we've lost interest in whatever the person in front of us has to say.
  • We are listening and we do care – probably

Knowing a group's social grouping

Many years ago a youth leader commented that a youth group will always be from one school social group, and if someone from outside that group joins the youth group, they will not stay. This is hard to accept, theologically and I have given hints on overcoming this, but generally speaking this is a truism.

• There will be occasional youth that are oblivious to exclusion and stay
• There will be occasional youth who don't care about social structures and will make friends within any social group (sometimes these are called social “floaters”)
• Although it is difficult, a group can represent multiple schools but they tend to be from similar and compatible groups from the different schools
• By far the best hint for overcoming incompatible groups is for them to go on a retreat or trip together. If there are efforts to mix and match across the lines and they have enough time to just talk they can form bonds and experiences that are greater than the social incompatibilities.
• Lectures, talks and programs may be valuable in the long run, but they will not apply these to their situation. (I particularly remember a youth group program where the youth insisted that their school had no racism and there was no division or discrimination against the Koreans. Then, once the program was over and they were chatting among themselves I heard many harsh statements against the “Korean Posse.”)

Being an ADD/ADHD youth worker #8: I have to have more than one stimulus going at all times.

This is one of those things that people without ADD really have a hard time understanding.

• My mother was always on my case about having my record player going while I studied. She could not concentrate when something else was going on, so how could I?
• What she didn't understand is that I cannot concentrate without something else going on.
• As much as I love the contents of libraries they are deadly to me.
• I simply must have 2-3 things going on at the same time.
• My ideal study habit in college and seminary was:
  • rocking vigorously in a rocking chair,
  • eating and drinking
  • listening to music
  • plowing through a stack of books – 15 minutes at a time.
  • I could go for hours like that.
  • This is basically how I write sermons...
• My nephew, who does not share my love and appreciation of music, without prompting, also said he had to have music on at all times when he was trying to concentrate.
• What do I do when I am trying to make music-- practicing guitar? TV (Crash and burn movies or sports. Something without a plot)

Knowing the Youth's Culture

The more you know about the world your youth are living in the better you can be sensitive to their situation, needs, concerns, pressures. Don't assume that their culture is even remotely like your High School years or like the descriptions in books and magazine. Different locales can be radically different environments. Here are questions to review continually (These are taken from a set articles I wrote Strategy Magazine, 1974, Geneva Press, Vol. 5: No 3 through Vol 6 No 2):

• What are the current "hit" songs? (Not your favorite but your kids' favorites)
• What are the current fads?
• What are the latest fashion trends?
• How are the school athletic teams doing?
• Who are the popular kids in school?
• What is the current slang, particularly the terms for:
  -the inept
  -the dropouts
  -the unpopular
  -those who are unaware of current youth etiquette
  -the school leaders
  -the various body parts and functions

• What is the general attitude toward religion?
• What is the general attitude toward the church?
• What are the current ways of expressing rebellion against adult society?
• Where are the youths' "hangouts" and which groups hang out at which places?
• What forms of recreation and entertainment are available and which are utilized by youth?
• What are the accepted forms of gaining recognition? (Accepted by the youth, not necessarily by Adults)
• What is the school social Structure?
• What are the values of the social structure?

Being an ADD/ADHD youth worker #7: “Hyper focus”

This is an ADD characteristic where we sometimes become so focused and intense that we shut everything else out for a significant length of time. It is not that we have suddenly learned how to concentrate, the situation is that we are involved in something that ties up all 10 of our tracks.

• Video Games are a good example. There is enough going that we become fully occupied and there is no room for distraction.
• For me it is when I'm doing computer programming and have to simultaneously keep track of everything from global logic down the syntax of a particular command.
• Normal stuff like studying for a math quiz doesn't do it for us.

Being a Guarantor

One of the greatest assets you have for your kids is that you are “over the hill.” They want and need someone they can trust who sees what is on the other side – what is coming at them. The youth recognize, even if they are resistant, that they will someday grow up. So they start to look for adults who they can pattern themselves after – a guarantor. So a youth-like leader may be more fun, but it is the adult-like leader (they can be the same person) whom they most need and model themselves after. So, be fun and youthful, but be mature. Show them that adulthood can be all right.

Being an ADD/ADHD youth worker #6: have more than one stimulus going at all times.

This is one of those things that people without ADD really have a hard time understanding. My mother was always on my case about having my record player going while I studied. She could not concentrate when something else was going on, so how could I? What she didn't understand is that I cannot concentrate without something else going on.

• As much as I love the contents of libraries they are deadly to me.
  • I simply must have 2-3 things going on at the same time.
  • My ideal study habit in college and seminary was:
  • rocking vigorously in a rocking chair,
  • eating and drinking
  • listening to music
  • plowing through a stack of books – 15 minutes at a time.
  • I could go for hours like that.
• This is basically how I write sermons...
• My nephew, who does not share my love and appreciation of music, without prompting, also said he had to have music on at all times when he was trying to concentrate.
• What do I do when I am trying to make music-- practicing guitar? TV (Crash and burn movies or sports. Something without a plot)

Work groups, such as on mission trips

It is common practice to divide groups into smaller work groups that mix and match the kids, breaking up family and clique groupings.

• It may be possible to mix and match in several combinations: pre-trip work groups (publicity, fund raising, etc), work site groups, non-worksite groups (cleanup, meals, worship, etc).
  
• Some groups can self-divide in a somewhat equitable fashion if they know the rules (no family members together, no best friends together, a good balance of numbers and genders. Threaten to manually redivide if they don't get it right.
  
• On a trip one team can be “Community Life” that determines what the group will do in the evening. If someone (this can be a pre-trip subcommittee) has researched before the trip what the possibilities are, determined financial limitations and other factors, they can make good recommendations.
  

Being Oneself #5: Playing the guitar?

To be successful in using a guitar and group singing in a youth program you actually need to be good at it. If you are not, recruit someone who is. Music is not a technique or tool of youth work but a part of one's life style.

Being an ADD/ADHD youth worker #5: Plan on changing activities regularly

Hint # 1: I finally learned and became resigned to the fact that I simply needed to change subjects every 15 minutes.

• I could study for hours (assuming a few other adjustments to be mentioned later) as long as I kept changing what I did every 15 minutes or so
• Hint #2: I found that did not lose my train of thought, unlike people that can only deal with one thing at a time and aren't able to be interrupted
  
• Hint #3: I do better keeping several books, projects, tasks going than if I try to do anything straight through.
  

Being Oneself #4: Trying to be in on their secrets, etc

It can be entertaining and exciting to be in on the youths secrets, intrigues, games and romances. However, it is important not to be involved, participate or even give the appearances that you know of them.

• It is good and helpful to be aware of these things, in case there are repercussions or consequences they are not able to control
• But unless they invite you into their lives, they will probably resent your intrusion.
• They need the freedom to learn through these experiences.
• They may be old hat to you, but they are new to the youth.
• If one of them confides in you, information regarding other youths is irrelevant and cannot affect your relationship with the other youths
• Manipulative youth may try to get you to become an unwitting agent for them and their intrigue. You cannot know enough about a situation to properly get involved.
• In a van or in a youth room they may say things like you aren't there. If they weren't addressing you whatever they say may be filed in your head, but do not act on it.

Being Oneself #3: Musical tastes

You need to know their music, but you don't have to like it. You don't have to judge it either. As expressed in other posts you can help them critique specific lyrics, but there is no “bad” musical styles only bad examples of each musical style. If it isn't your style, fine. It doesn't need to be, you just need to be tolerant. And help them be tolerant of your tastes, without expecting them to embrace it.