Be a Moral Guarantor for your youth

Like it or not your youth will look to you for moral guidance. You cannot, like the celebrities, try to pretend that your actions and life are not anyone's business and you have no intention of being a “role model.” Not only are you (and they) role models, you have signed on for that job! So the youth around you are watching, mostly unconsciously, your every move trying to learn what it means to be a “Christian adult.” (remember the anti-smoking ads?) So, what are you teaching them?

• Periodically we need to stop and look at our actions and interactions to make sure we are teaching them what we intend to teach them
• If we see behaviors in the youth that bother us, we need to first look at ourselves to make sure we haven't taught them that.
• When teaching a lesson or preaching, we need to see how much if applies to our own lives.
• If the concern is a difficult one (“I need to be less sarcastic”) at least admit that it is a problem that you are trying to overcome. This, in itself is an important lesson for them to learn.
• Never make excuses when you slip up.
• As I have said in other posts, we may have to adhere to a code that we do not consider necessary – specially for an adult, but if it is something we don't want to our youth to emulate, we may have adhere to it – for their sake.

Being an ADD/ADHD youth worker #17: Creative Thinking

Make good and unapologetic use of your creative thinking – your ability to put together seemingly unrelated things (this isn't just my idea, this is in the literature)

• This is sometimes seriously out-of-the-box thinking.
• Getting people to listen to us is often a problem.
• Find people that deal will with someone who is ADD – listen to their 'hare-brained” ideas.
• Make sure that new ideas and perspectives are communicated clearly and in a way that will make it acceptable to more traditional thinking people.
• and be patient. It may take them awhile to catch up with you

Being an ADD/ADHD youth worker #16: Find the right vocation

We do well in jobs and situations where there is a lot going and a lot of interruptions.

• I would not be able to hold down a job like many people have. I simply cannot hold still and stay quietly focused on one task for long periods of time.
• My job as a Minister for Christian Education and Youth suited me fine.
  • There were constant interruptions.
  • There was more to do than I could possibly do
  • The tasks were varied, ranging from Biblical research to a pickup soccer game in the Dining Room.
  • There was structure to the job, but no routine
  • There was little in my job where I have to be completely focused on something for long periods of time or in high-stimuli situations.

Being an ADD/ADHD youth worker #15: provide your own distractions

Since we need distractions to keep from going bonkers, prepare for times when you won't have enough to keep occupied.

• Always have a book or a project with you
  • We need to always be working on several projects
  • Whenever there is a pause in the action I have something to work on with me.
  • Again, we can change our train of thought again and again without ill effect
• Always have things to think about when trapped in quiet situations
  • I do my best computer programming while listening to a sermon.
  • I do listen to the sermon
  • But programming keeps me from becoming frantic

Being an ADD/ADHD youth worker #14: Use our powers of observation

We may be clueless, but we don't miss much. We are observant. Use these observations – what other people call distractions.

• Notice things that other people overlook.
• Report things that are broken
• Notice who's where
• Keep track of complicated situations
• It may take some practice and a change of thinking to not just notice things but to make use of these observations.

Being an ADD/ADHD youth worker #13: Do things that are exhausting

Work out as much of the excess energy as possible throughout the day.

• Jog or run every morning at 5am. You will be able to focus for the rest of the day if he doesn't to this. (Do a hard lap swim every noon)
• If you plan in times of activity the energy won't come out in destructive ways
• Sleep when you need to and as long as you need, without trying to adhere to a “normal” schedule.
  • You may need much less sleep than other people.
  • You will have a hard time going to sleep unless you are physically exhausted

Being an ADD/ADHD youth worker #13: Dealing with excess energy

Recognize and accept the fact that you have to be moving at all times

• Jiggling, wiggling, getting up and wandering around are necessary
• Try to make your movement not impact other people or be overly distracting to others
• Children and youth tend to poke, push, hit which can't be
• Adults keep driving others to keep up with them. They don't understand people that do not have that much energy. But this makes the other people mad
• Movement that is too obvious can be a distraction to others
• Have a series of things that to do that are not noticeable
  • flexing feet and legs under the table
  • Doodling with out paying a lot of attention to what you are doodling
  • Sit forward, sit back, sit forward, etc
  • Look for legitimate excuses to get up and move
  • Get agreement with others in the room to allow you to stand behind your chair
  • As much as possible, make the movement constructive
• Take up active hobbies to do in passive situations such as watching TV
  • Juggles (anything)
  • Play video game on phone at while watching
  • Play a musical instrument or other physical activity
  • Conduct work such as dictation on smart phone, while exercising, going places, doing things

Being an ADD youth worker #12: We need to stop and calm down periodically

I once had a staff review that commented that I seemed to have two speeds -- 100 miles per hour or 0. If there's not enough stimulus, my choices are to get frantic or to go to sleep.

• But in stimulating situations I and other ADD people start winding up tighter and tighter.
• We need to plan in times to calm down and start over
• We can do this ourselves and/or have others remind us
• When we get too wound up it can drive everyone crazy, and we're more prone to making bad decisions.
• I swim every noon hour that I can. It serves two purposes
  • Draws off excess energy
  • Reboots my system
• Routine minute prayers can do this also
• A minute away from everything can do it

Being an ADD/ADHD youth worker #11. Structure, routine and list making are important.

List making is one of the most common suggestions from the experts and as long as you factor in the other hints, I agree.

• This keeps us from getting so far afield that we lose track of some of the things we need to keep track of.
• For example, if I'm shopping for groceries, I'm in an environment with lots of interesting things to pay attention to. Without a list I will invariably forget things – and come home with who knows what.
• This also allows setting priorities. My lists are usually on the computer and rank-ordered so that an interesting thing lower on the list will only be visited briefly before I get back to the important stuff.

Routine also keeps us from wandering off and failing to get around to something.

• I'm in the office at 7, when there are no other distraction.
• I put on music, and then spend, in order,
• 15 minutes in a series of prayers (I can't pray for 15 minutes but I can pray for a minute at a time for 15 times...)
• 15 minutes Bible study
• 15 minutes reading
• 15 minutes research
• 15 minutes email correspondence
• This way I am sure to get all these things in

Being an ADD/ADHD youth worker #10: ADD people are incorrectly viewed as multi-taskers

We “multi-task” the same way as single core computers. Which is to say, not at all.

• What single core computers and people do is do task-switching.
• Most people do task-switching slowly, people with ADD task-switch rapidly and computers in an instant.
• Task-switch in this fashion makes us very efficient when we are not overloaded.
• However, as the time slices devoted to a particular task get shorter and farther between, any particular task can become too slow – like overloaded computers.
• There has to be a balance achieved for efficiency
• So we have to have a limited number of distractions at a time

Being an ADD/ADHD youth worker # 9: Stimulus control is important.

We all have a limited number of tracks. Too many diversions can lower our efficiency.

• We can't do just one thing, but we also can't do 14.
• So we do need a controlled environment because we are not very good at ignoring stimuli
• If there is something going on, we will notice it
• This is one of the places where we annoy other people.
  • We will give anybody our full attention for 15 minutes or until something else gets our attention – whichever comes first.
  • It is not that that person is not important, we just need to take in whatever else is going on also.
  • It takes a LOT of practice on our part to take in whatever is going on without it seeming like we've lost interest in whatever the person in front of us has to say.
  • We are listening and we do care – probably

Being an ADD/ADHD youth worker #8: I have to have more than one stimulus going at all times.

This is one of those things that people without ADD really have a hard time understanding.

• My mother was always on my case about having my record player going while I studied. She could not concentrate when something else was going on, so how could I?
• What she didn't understand is that I cannot concentrate without something else going on.
• As much as I love the contents of libraries they are deadly to me.
• I simply must have 2-3 things going on at the same time.
• My ideal study habit in college and seminary was:
  • rocking vigorously in a rocking chair,
  • eating and drinking
  • listening to music
  • plowing through a stack of books – 15 minutes at a time.
  • I could go for hours like that.
  • This is basically how I write sermons...
• My nephew, who does not share my love and appreciation of music, without prompting, also said he had to have music on at all times when he was trying to concentrate.
• What do I do when I am trying to make music-- practicing guitar? TV (Crash and burn movies or sports. Something without a plot)

Knowing the Youth's Culture

The more you know about the world your youth are living in the better you can be sensitive to their situation, needs, concerns, pressures. Don't assume that their culture is even remotely like your High School years or like the descriptions in books and magazine. Different locales can be radically different environments. Here are questions to review continually (These are taken from a set articles I wrote Strategy Magazine, 1974, Geneva Press, Vol. 5: No 3 through Vol 6 No 2):

• What are the current "hit" songs? (Not your favorite but your kids' favorites)
• What are the current fads?
• What are the latest fashion trends?
• How are the school athletic teams doing?
• Who are the popular kids in school?
• What is the current slang, particularly the terms for:
  -the inept
  -the dropouts
  -the unpopular
  -those who are unaware of current youth etiquette
  -the school leaders
  -the various body parts and functions

• What is the general attitude toward religion?
• What is the general attitude toward the church?
• What are the current ways of expressing rebellion against adult society?
• Where are the youths' "hangouts" and which groups hang out at which places?
• What forms of recreation and entertainment are available and which are utilized by youth?
• What are the accepted forms of gaining recognition? (Accepted by the youth, not necessarily by Adults)
• What is the school social Structure?
• What are the values of the social structure?

Being an ADD/ADHD youth worker #7: “Hyper focus”

This is an ADD characteristic where we sometimes become so focused and intense that we shut everything else out for a significant length of time. It is not that we have suddenly learned how to concentrate, the situation is that we are involved in something that ties up all 10 of our tracks.

• Video Games are a good example. There is enough going that we become fully occupied and there is no room for distraction.
• For me it is when I'm doing computer programming and have to simultaneously keep track of everything from global logic down the syntax of a particular command.
• Normal stuff like studying for a math quiz doesn't do it for us.

Being a Guarantor

One of the greatest assets you have for your kids is that you are “over the hill.” They want and need someone they can trust who sees what is on the other side – what is coming at them. The youth recognize, even if they are resistant, that they will someday grow up. So they start to look for adults who they can pattern themselves after – a guarantor. So a youth-like leader may be more fun, but it is the adult-like leader (they can be the same person) whom they most need and model themselves after. So, be fun and youthful, but be mature. Show them that adulthood can be all right.

Being an ADD/ADHD youth worker #6: have more than one stimulus going at all times.

This is one of those things that people without ADD really have a hard time understanding. My mother was always on my case about having my record player going while I studied. She could not concentrate when something else was going on, so how could I? What she didn't understand is that I cannot concentrate without something else going on.

• As much as I love the contents of libraries they are deadly to me.
  • I simply must have 2-3 things going on at the same time.
  • My ideal study habit in college and seminary was:
  • rocking vigorously in a rocking chair,
  • eating and drinking
  • listening to music
  • plowing through a stack of books – 15 minutes at a time.
  • I could go for hours like that.
• This is basically how I write sermons...
• My nephew, who does not share my love and appreciation of music, without prompting, also said he had to have music on at all times when he was trying to concentrate.
• What do I do when I am trying to make music-- practicing guitar? TV (Crash and burn movies or sports. Something without a plot)

Being Oneself #5: Playing the guitar?

To be successful in using a guitar and group singing in a youth program you actually need to be good at it. If you are not, recruit someone who is. Music is not a technique or tool of youth work but a part of one's life style.

Being an ADD/ADHD youth worker #5: Plan on changing activities regularly

Hint # 1: I finally learned and became resigned to the fact that I simply needed to change subjects every 15 minutes.

• I could study for hours (assuming a few other adjustments to be mentioned later) as long as I kept changing what I did every 15 minutes or so
• Hint #2: I found that did not lose my train of thought, unlike people that can only deal with one thing at a time and aren't able to be interrupted
  
• Hint #3: I do better keeping several books, projects, tasks going than if I try to do anything straight through.
  

Being Oneself #3: Musical tastes

You need to know their music, but you don't have to like it. You don't have to judge it either. As expressed in other posts you can help them critique specific lyrics, but there is no “bad” musical styles only bad examples of each musical style. If it isn't your style, fine. It doesn't need to be, you just need to be tolerant. And help them be tolerant of your tastes, without expecting them to embrace it.

Being an ADD/ADHD youth worker #4: Medication

• No matter what I say here it will make half the audience mad
• My experience is that a few, but very few, do need to be medicated
• Always do a double blind test to make sure it is, in reality, doing something worthwhile
• Only use to take the edge off of extreme cases
• They do not need to be drugged into submission
• “Normal” is not the goal. They only need to be calm enough to function and to take advantage of their condition.