You can't actually "toughen up" a child

It has been shown (David Elkind and others) that a child given too much freedom too early tend to be emotionally fragile. Instead of becoming strong from the “testing” they become insecure as they try to deal with things they don't understand or are not ready to deal with. It is therefore important for youth workers and parents, as much as possible, to protect the younger youth from overly stressful situations.

• We cannot “toughen them up” but rather need to ease them into adulthood.

• Things like challenge courses (ropes courses, etc) are actually safe but simulates danger. This “exercises” their trust and stress reactions without permanently damaging them.
• The Church needs to be a safe place – not just safe from sexual predators, but everything harmful including inappropriate teasing by classmates. There are other posts about how to achieve this.
• If something goes terribly wrong, someone needs to be there to “debrief.” Help them past the situation and learn that the world is normally trustworthy and safe.
• If one of the youth or many of them suffer a trauma (a death or serious illness) the church and its representatives need to be a visible presence and support.