Games Students Play -- "You are so wonderful/Yes, I am aren't I"

Games Students Play -- "You are so wonderful/Yes, I am aren't I" (Be sure you have read the introduction to these "games":Games Students Play)

A youth leader/youth game.

This is such an obvious one I don't know why we ever fall for it, but we do. A youth praises us or "sucks up to us" and we like it. It feeds our ego. We agree. All of a sudden that youth becomes a favorite youth, they get some kind of special attention or favor or reward and responds with more praise and attention. And off it goes.

This can become seriously destructive with the possibilities being:

• We think more highly of ourselves than we ought. Our egotism may drive others away or we do something poorly because we believe we can do it when we can't.
• The favored youth takes advantage of their position at the expense of other youth
• Non-favored youth may join in, in order to be favored too, or, not being hypocritical, resist that temptation, get disgusted and leave
• Non-favored youth get ignored and drop out
• The relationship between leader and youth can become unhealthy as one or the other "fall in love" with the other

To break this game:

• Be alert to the possibility and not get sucked in
• Have someone you rely on and trust, like a spouse, who's job it is to keep your feet on the ground
• Consciously make sure that all your youth are treated equally, no matterwhat. Playing up to you gets a youth no favors and being rude/frank/honest to you doesn't get the youth unreasonable retribution.