When an older youth says something shocking

Older youth may deliberately try to shock, especially if they are in an uncomfortable situation. This can be in the form of foul language, a joke, a question or a story.

• It can be an attempt to push an adult away or an attempt to shock just for amusement.
  
• This is often a test to see how the adult will react. Try not to react, but rather be matter-of-fact as if you are mature enough to handle the issue (no matter what you feel inside).
  
• If it is a question (such as a question about some kind of sexual practice) try to answer factually and matter-of-factly – and if you don't know the facts, calmly say that you'll have to research it and get back to them (they probably would rather you didn't). If it is a personal question simply respond that you won't ask them personal questions if they won't ask you personal questions.
  
• If it is a joke see previous post given for early adolescents.
  
• If it is story, suggest they talk to you privately about it. If it is a true story they may come to you and have a meaningful discussion. If it is not true they'll either confess or let it drop.
  
• There is no good way to be sure whether some of these stories or questions are made up and are simply to try to side-track or upset you or are for real and need to be dealt with. The best advice is to take seriously but not push too far or too hard.