- Always have adults of both genders present whenever there are
youth present.
- Never be completely alone with a youth. Out of hearing
range, perhaps, but not out of eyesight.
- When counseling, the room should have a window and people
around. In an emergency, have a spouse or other adult come along.
They can be in an adjoining room but the youth should know of this
person's presence.
- At this time, games need to avoid or disallow “touching”
(For example, “If you love me honey, smile.”)
- Today, females usually feel most comfortable getting
counseling from a female, and males usually feel most comfortable
getting counseling from a male. They all prefer getting serious
counseling from someone they won't see outside of the office.
- And now for the most controversial hint: Again and again I
have been counseled by legal people and ecclesiastical officials
that if it comes down to choosing to help a youth in a life
threatening situation (like suicide) but it would mean being alone
with the youth, just call 911 and hope for the best. For me this is
like the Priest walking on the other side of road in the Good
Samaritan story. To save the life of a youth I will risk
sacrificing my career. However, in 40 years of ministry it came
down to that decision only twice. Choose carefully and wisely.
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Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Remaining above suspicion
Staying out of suspicion of inappropriate behavior takes work.
The fact that this is currently a double standard, with males being
under greater observation and suspicion doesn't matter. These are
the facts. In this area society can and does change the rules
suddenly and apply them retroactively, so youth workers need to be
squeaky clean. Female youth workers may suddenly come under
suspicion also, so they should work under the same restrictions and
practices as their male counterparts already have to work under.
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