Moratorium #2: Balance between moratorium and encouragement

Some youth need to be pushed beyond their present character, others need to be allowed to chill for awhile. I've had some great leaders that went on to great things after being pushed to try bigger and more important projects as a youth. I have also watched a youth crash and burn, even attempt suicide, because they weren't allowed a break in the constant pressure. Sometimes it was the smallest of additional pressure that pushed them over the edge. Some guidelines for choosing between these approaches:

• When in doubt, err on the side of backing off. Not pushing a kid to their potential is less destructive than pushing a kid to the breaking point.
• When a kid looks you in the eye and says, “I can't do it” they probably can't, go with plan B.
• When a kid timidly says, “I don't think I can do it” encourage them and stay the course.
• Remember the adage that too much pressure at too young of an age makes a person fragile rather than strong.
• Keep in mind the adage that the youth needs to be progressively given responsibility and freedom from 6^th to 12^th grade. They are closely monitored at 6^th grade and totally independent by the end of 12^th grade. Structure youth activities accordingly and give out responsibilities appropriately.