Sacrificing for our youth: Dating

This is, of course, a really touchy subject because it touches the core of a person's being. When one is “in love” reason and other considerations are a threat not something to take into consideration. Also, the exact circumstances can vary to a huge degree. However, hear are a few generalizations.

• First of all. A youth worker that is dating is generally not a problem. Even having them come on youth trips and activities can be a good thing if the guidelines are followed.
• There are, of course, inappropriate partners – no matter what the age difference or how strong the mutual love is, the youth themselves are completely off-limits for many, many reasons. This is one of those “love has nothing to do with it” situations. Keep in mind that you will fall in love many times and if one heart wrenching love doesn't pan out, there will be others. If the person is abusive, love has nothing to do with it, get out of the relationship, etc. There will be other opportunities for love. But you don't want to harm your youth be having an inappropriate or destructive relationship. Like it or not you just can't expose them to harmful influences.
• In public settings, interacting with a partner you are not married to needs to be real, but appropriate. You can get away with the same level of Public Displays of Affection as the youth themselves. There are cultural differences between groups, but if an activity is considered out of bounds for the youth, it is out of bounds for you (in public).
• Model good relationships practice.
• You, of course,want to keep your private life private, but you can share little details, such as “I'm sorry if I'm cranky, I'm having boyfriend/girlfriend trouble...”)
• Do not use your youth group as therapists and unload your deepest feelings and secrets. And, with parents, in a breakup do not pit your youth group against your former friend. Model good, mature behavior even if you think it may kill you.