Being Oneself #4: Trying to be in on their secrets, etc

It can be entertaining and exciting to be in on the youths secrets, intrigues, games and romances. However, it is important not to be involved, participate or even give the appearances that you know of them.

• It is good and helpful to be aware of these things, in case there are repercussions or consequences they are not able to control
• But unless they invite you into their lives, they will probably resent your intrusion.
• They need the freedom to learn through these experiences.
• They may be old hat to you, but they are new to the youth.
• If one of them confides in you, information regarding other youths is irrelevant and cannot affect your relationship with the other youths
• Manipulative youth may try to get you to become an unwitting agent for them and their intrigue. You cannot know enough about a situation to properly get involved.
• In a van or in a youth room they may say things like you aren't there. If they weren't addressing you whatever they say may be filed in your head, but do not act on it.