The task of Adolescence is to become independent: Implication #5

One of the most pernicious but wrong ideas about development is that the averages that are used in description are prescriptive – setting a standard for someone of a given age. A person is not “retarded” nor “advanced” if they deviate from the norm. There are what they are. Development cannot be rushed or delayed except through trauma. All youth will be inconsistent as well, being ahead of the average in some respects and behind in others. So, in relation to their becoming independent, it is not a “problem” or a “disorder” that we need to “fix” if a 17 year old is still dependent on a parent nor a 13 year old that makes all their own decisions. It is simply a matter that we can expect, over the course of adolescence for a youth to become more and more independent and self-sufficient.

In our work with youth it is appropriate for us to give them the opportunity to be as independent as they can stand.