The task of Adolescence is to become independent: Implication #4

Social cliques and social pressure are a given and cannot be just set aside. Time and again, following a discussion on cliques and exclusion, my youth group would break into their predetermined cliques, carefully excluding the outsiders. It is not that they don't understand the concept, it is that they don't apply it to their own lives. This is partially a developmental issue, but is also that they have too much at stake: at a time when relationships are becoming increasingly important, old relationships, including with their parents are breaking down. They desperately need relationships that they can trust. So they, mistakenly perhaps, trust the social system of their school.

For us, knowing what we are up against we need to:

• Not get discouraged or give in – we need to keep gently pushing them
• Not get judgmental or critical
• Mitigate the worst aspects of it. We can sometimes influence getting one of the “left outs” included