When a youth dies: Content of the Mourning meeting

Content of a mourning meeting

• Always give the youth opportunities to vent
• Ask questions that will both get them to open up and to show what needs to come out of the gathering.
• Directly address the issue of “it isn't fair” This is a huge topic and depends somewhat on your theology. But take time to develop a response.
• If it was a tragic death, put in perspective. They need assurance that the world is normally trustworthy and that normally young people do not die
• If it was illness, emphasize that it was a natural process and not God “zapping” the person.
• Express, probably more than once, that “God is grieving with us.”
• Anger, including anger against God in normal and God doesn't need defending by humans. Accept the anger, reflect it (“I sure can understand why you are angry, I, personally feel....”)
• Keep in mind that younger youth do not mourn in the same fashion as adults. They mourn in sudden burst which pass quickly. Be prepared for some head jerking shifts.
• Listen for particular people that might be slipping into depression or saying things like “I'd like to join them.”
• Be prepared to stop and move on when they seem to be done – even if they've not dealt with all the things you think they need to deal with.