An annoying youth on a trip

On a trip, when people are shut up for long periods during travel, sometimes, there is a particularly difficult youth that is driving the other kids or the driver crazy or when two or more youth are a particularly bad combination, you may need to force a shuffle. You may find a driver or a youth that can handle an annoying youth (but don't let this be a parent). However, no one should have to be annoyed continually on a trip.

Staying in an unfamiliar church building

On trips when you use a church unknown to the youth there are a number of considerations for making good use:

• Scout out the church on arrival. You may need to make some spaces off limits for wild games (like Sardines). Some places need to be avoided altogether.
  
• Find equably comfortable spaces for sleeping in. The sleeping rooms are to be off-limits, including during games.
  
• Establish a good common room for worship, Bible Study, wild games, and hanging out.
  
• Scout out the kitchen to see what it does or doesn't have.
  
• Find cleaning supplies.
  
• Most churches do not have showers, so plan on that.
  
• Play Sardines, preferably in the middle of the night. If you don't know the game, check Wikipedia and read the “Hide and Seek” version. (A freebee hint on Sardines – have the first person to find the sardine become the next sardine, not the last person, as it is commonly played, but, as with the traditional version, the next round is started only after everyone has found and hidden with the sardine.)
  
• Make sure the church is put back together and is cleaner than you found it so that yours or other groups will be allowed to stay there in the future.
  

Some general principles for handling disasters on a trip

To keep an experience such as related in the previous posts from being the disaster it could have been:

• Remain calm ... It'll all work out somehow, and if you remain calm the kids are more likely to remain calm. If you are worried, they'll be worried, if you are angry, they'll get angry.
• ... But be honest with the kids. Trying to gloss over or pretend everything is OK is wasted energy, reduces the trust level and leaves you isolated. The kids need to know what's going on when things have gone awry.
• Follow the general principles for youth ministry. For example, I could safely leave the group to try to work out problems because I had enough counselors.
• Always keep the safety and sense of security of the young people firmly in mind at all times. If the planned activity is becoming risky, bail out without apology; if a backup plan being considered has not been researched thoroughly and is questionable in your mind, do something else. Don't be afraid to cancel an activity if you can tell the parents that it was for the safety of their children - they will be happier with you if you seem to be overprotective than if a child is injured or frightened.
• Always have a few backup activities and plans:
• Even though they are not thrilling to the youth, I always locate a museum, park, historical site and other such "tourist" items that we can go to if we end up with too much time on our hands.
• Have a storehouse of stupid games to play.
• Pizza is usually a good fallback activity and takes time.
• On trips, I carry a catalog case crammed with arts, crafts, worship resources, pens, paper, etc. - and lots and lots of games and toys.

A Surprise surprise

On a snowy afternoon with everything canceled, maybe I'll break with practice and give an extended narrative:

A Surprise surprise

Even the best planned and worked out activity can go awry and being able to handle surprises is important for all people doing youth work. Perhaps a way of illustrating what can go wrong and some of the principles of handling the unexpected would be to tell of such an experience that I have gone through.

The Unknown Destination Trip from ...

I should have known what the weekend was going to be like in the first two hours: we gathered and packed the van in a driving, miserable rain, drove down to the first stop in terrible traffic - and couldn't find the first stop. After driving around trying to find the street or even someone to ask, we found someone who gave us exact instructions - which led us out of the area (and away from our destination) and into a tangle of roads around an airport. An hour later we worked our way back to the area, found someone else and made our way to the first stop. Unfortunately, there had been a massive electrical fire in the area and the place was without power. Even though this was to be our primary activity for the weekend, as well as our supper and our overnight lodging, we were not even allowed into the building.

We were able finally able to locate another place to stay the night, and at 9:30pm, after four hours in a van we had supper at a McDs and settled in for the night in the lounge areas of a dorm. And at long last we were ready for the worship service that we were told would be provided. Unfortunately, the person assigned to us was never told this and had nothing prepared. So, while the kids entertained themselves, we developed a service. We did sleep well that night, and our hosts provided us with a nice breakfast. Things were looking up. We were able to use the original facility for a while that morning, although the kids were not really in the mood for the activity by then.

The next item on the agenda was to go to a large downtown church that was being remodeled to serve as a community center. The plan was to do some cleanup work there, to play games in the gym, and finally to shower in the locker rooms off the gym. Again the contact person who was to work with us never really got the message and didn't show up. (Here's one of the places where rigidity on my part worked against us - leaving the group in the van with the other counselor and with little to do I worked doggedly to make this part of the program to work out). After an hour and a half delay, we were in the building and ready to begin work. The work was actually fun for the group since we got to take everything out of the old Sunday School area, toss everything down a stairwell and then out the door and into a dumpster. There is nothing like the sound of a piano banging down 5 flights of stairs!

While this was going on I checked out the rest of the building and discovered that the gym floor was so badly water damaged and warped that there wasn't any way we could play games there, nor did the locker rooms have water. So much for recreation and getting cleaned up. Fortunately we had a couple of backup plans, although they were not all that exciting.

Finally, I had been told that we would be taken to a Portuguese restaurant run by members of the church. It sounded comfortable and interesting. However, we were mistakenly taken to a very high class restaurant. The restaurant personnel were gracious but not thrilled with having a group of (unwashed) middle school youth.

All in all, we found that we survived the weekend. The kids still all talk about this great adventure we went on, as if it were something very special. I have to admit, it did bring that group of kids very close to each other! Maybe the objectives of the trip were met in spite of everything.

A later post will have principles for handling situations like this.

Broadly graded: youth teach youth model

This is not nearly as controversial as it was when I started youth ministry. Actually, one of my 70 year old teachers had started teaching as a teenager. It is not a new concept. But some churches haven't tried it and assume the worst. I had one person leave our church, incensed because we had an elementary class being taught by youth (there was an adult on the team but he often missed because the youth had everything under control). The class was noisy, with lots of movement and activity, but the youth leading the class were all experienced teachers and knew what they were doing and worked from lesson plans. As an observer of all my classes I can say that those children learned more than the other classes. In subsequent posts I'll give practical hints on implementing this model effectively.

Two essential elements for a Confirmation program

Two activities that I think should be givens for a full scale Confirmation program:

• Regardless of the style of program, if you have more than 4 youth, consider a retreat or lock-in at the beginning to create a sense of community.
• Have a larger project sometime during the program that the youth decide upon, plan and execute with little adult direction. Once they have accomplished it they will feel better about themselves and each other and it will prove that they are, indeed, ready to be adult members of the church. I have found these to be particularly helpful in the first part of the program because it bonds the group
• Both of these activities give the group some common event to tie them together and to talk about when they have nothing else in common.

Indoor Frisbee and other ways of filling dead spots

For those times we've all experienced: The program didn't show up or is running late; the program is bombing; the program didn't take as long as we thought, have an unusual activity or game always on the ready.

How to do the surprise:

Keep a list of easy to do games in mind or on paper. I try to always have a list of some old favorite and some new games on my agenda. For special events, I will have a number of Koosh balls stashed in various places ready to pull out and put to use. Another item I keep handy (I even keep one in my backpack while I am at meetings and conventions) is a rubber "spot" used for indoor games. These make, among other things, great indoor Frisbees. I can just pull it out and sail it across the circle to someone and the game is on.

What to Avoid:

• Resorting to the games too quickly. There is a difference between a pause or a slow start to a program and a program that is falling flat.
• Using the same activity too many times in a row

Variations:

On Retreats, etc. I always have my Retreat box available, as described on the Documents page which have a variety of handy props.