Experience is the best teacher #2: You have to actually let them experience it

Again and again I see parents, youth leaders and other adults jumping in to bail a youth out or to “do it right before the youth messes it up.” On the one hand they never learn to be responsible if they are never expected to be responsible. On the other hand, they cannot learn something without do it.

• You or other adults can't do it for them or bail them out for something less that disastrous.
• If they are ever going to learn how to do something they actually have to do it, not watch someone else do it
• Supervise, suggest, demonstrate when asked, but let them do it
• Debrief, but gently
• My rule of thumb – if the youth are not working neither should be the adults. Only when all the youth are working can an adult pitch in
• Overheard conversations. All of them wrong:
  • “You chowderhead, don't you know to measure twice and cut once? Give me that saw”
  • “I'll sweep up your mess, you go out and play with your friends”
  • “You're taking too long, let me do that”
  • “I know how shy you are so you don't have to participate in the Youth Sunday service”