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Friday, December 20, 2013

Dealing with discrepancies in a youth's life

As mentioned in previous posts, youth naturally and unconsciously compartmentalize different aspects of their lives. They don't see or recognize the discrepancies – some are seriously and sincerely religious, at youth group events, but run with a wild crowd that engages in “risky” behavior [what a euphemism!]. They do not view themselves as hypocrites, these are unrelated activities. This is a developmental issue and cannot be easily overcome.
  • It is usually not helpful to directly confront a specific youth with the discrepancies in their life.
  • They will feel you are over reacting, that it isn't as bad as you are making it out to be and they will feel that this is an “invasion of privacy.” They may accuse you of “stalking” them because you aren't supposed to know that part of their life (even though they talk about it right there in your presence).
  • They will be mortified and confused and since they don't like that feeling, blame you for making them feel that way.
Later I will address some kind of positive response. But the main solution is not to reject them or harass them but wait it out.

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