When under attack

If someone really powerful is after you and you do not think you can get a fair shake, prepare an exit strategy. I've posted earlier that one should not leave mad or too easily – we need to hold out as long as possible for the youth's sake. However, there are times when a position is untenable (In 40 years I only submitted my resignation under duress once, and, in the end, we worked it out and I stayed).
If you have to leave, however, please read my posts about leaving a group. Your problems are probably not the kids fault (their parent's maybe, but not the kids). They deserve a proper separation.

Don't share everything you are dealing with with a spouse.

• A spouse will not be objective and will tend take on your frustration.
  
• Some may try to get back at those who have hurt you.
  
• Some may just get bitter about your situation.
  
• Some may simply not want to hear about it (again).

Kidnap Retreat: Preparation

Since retreat facilities are often booked up solid, especially in the Fall, it is important to plan this event far enough in advance to secure reservations for the camp or retreat center to be used. The surprise works best if the location of the retreat is fairly close to the public event (although I've had young people patiently and without question let me drive them 30 minutes "out of the way" without question). Often an area has a number of resources that have not been explored or used by a particular group. Service organization often have or know of camps and retreat centers, as do "Y"s and other churches. The best surprise retreat I have done used a partially abandoned luxury hotel a few minutes outside of town that was owned by a local church. Just exploring that facility was major entertainment for our group.

As a part of the preparation, arrange for other counselors for the retreat. Also, someone, perhaps the other counselors or perhaps youth committee members or parents of youth that will undoubtedly be going need to be recruited to gather the youth's overnight bags while the public activity is going on.

Adolescents will experiment

• They will experiment with personalities. Being mean and unfeeling one moment and sweet and caring the next; being “wild” one moment and “good” the next; so forth
• They will experiment with behaviors. One youth might experiment with smoking and reject it and experiment with alcohol and embrace it.
• No experiment is necessarily forever unless they become labeled. “Nikki is a slut” is likely to make Nikki who tried something she shouldn't have, feel like that is who she is and she needs to live out that definition from then on. Let them be someone different every time you see them. Reinforce good decisions, view bad decisions as only a one time decision.

A well stocked youth room

Keep the room stocked with arts and crafts, school supplies (including calculators, rulers, colored pencils, etc), board games (throw them out when they lose pieces or get tattered, you'll always get more donated), videos, spare t-shirts, towels, game books, cleaning supplies, snack food, paper goods.

The "Ins and Outs" game

Theologizing games is possible and worthwhile. Just give a little narrative before or after the game. My favorite, which comes from Gabe Campbell, is “Ins and Outs” a vigorous game where they divide themselves into groups based on a number shouted out by the leader.They mill around until they hear the number then they have to form a group of that number quickly  If a group is too large or too small they are eliminated. The process continues down to two people.  During the game friends and socially acceptable go by the wayside in an attempt to form the right number.  The debriefing discussion is “how is this like high school/middle school society?” (After this is an established game with a group it can also be used for randomly dividing a group -- ""get in groups of x; get in groups of y; get in groups of 6 -- now sit down together.")

Spills

Quickly establish a policy, both official and in real life,  of “if you spill something you clean it up IMMEDIATELY.” No exceptions. This policy is better than forbidding food and drink, which is generally a bad idea and causes friction and a "food policy" mentality.