withdrawn and shy youth

For the withdrawn and excessively shy youth:

• Of course, don't harass or draw attention to them or push too hard.
  
• Use small groups which match this person with someone that is inclusive and sensitive.
  
• Find a special skill they have and use it, giving them public recognition for it.
  
• Find a special interest you can engage them and those around them in talking about.
  
• Let them be drawn in little by little – don't try to move too quickly.
  
• Is there a youth in the group that can act as a shepherd or guide for a shy friend?
  
• Can you get them to go on an overnight trip or retreat? (These make all the difference in the world!)
  

When a group is really wild and unpleasant one week

If a group is wild one week, don't label them and expect it to be this way from that point on. Every week is a new world. Help other leaders to gain this perspective.

New member classes

Get on the agenda for a presentation at new member classes. This is a special time to get to know new people to the church.

• If any have youth or soon-to-be youth, detail the appropriate programs
• If any seem to be good candidates for youth leaders, try to get to them before every other group and organization in the church
• And conversely, if your instincts tell you that you don't want one of them within 50 feet of any of your youth, mark that name!
• Try to make the program seem vital and important for the work of the church so that even if they will not be directly involved, they will at least be sympathetic and encouraging.

Nothing beats a phone call

There are so many ways of communicating with youth these days, and as I have said in other posts, we need to use them all. Still, nothing beats a personal phone call. I tried to have a real, person to person phone call (cell phones or land line) with every youth every so often. I would use an upcoming event as the excuse for calling them, but after giving the invitation and before they could get into rattling off any excuses for not coming, I'd change subjects asking them something about there life “how's school going this semester,” “are you going out for track this year,” “how's the new choir director at school,” etc.

Kidnap Retreat

[This will be an extended discussion with multiple posts over time]

A retreat is a particularly good way to start a program year and this idea is a good way assure that you get a good turnout at the retreat. In brief, plan a simple startup activity which requires a sign-up that will attract a large percentage of the potential group. Then arrange secretly with the parents to "kidnap" the youth for a full, first-class weekend retreat following the publicized event.

Youth room renovation challenge

Something to try in order to stir things up a bit: Make redecorating a youth room or complex a contest.

• If it is a single room have randomly selected teams submit designs to be voted on by the whole group. You can allow or disallow adult help, as feels right
  
• If there are multiple rooms that can be included, have teams assigned to specific rooms and submit designs for those rooms
  
  • If you are really brave, you can, in TV reality show fashion have teams actually do the redecoration in secret and then have one grand “reveal.”
    
  • You might assign an interior decorator from the congregation to each team, with the instruction that they are to advise and help with technical items but the youth must do the actual design.
    
• Control over the projects can be had by establishing in advance spending limits and any out of bounds activities (removing walls, putting in a hot tub...)
  

Younger youth "runners" (kids that escape)

When you have a younger youth disappear of course it is a bigger deal than when a high school youth takes off. In this case, I am less inclined to call the parents. Like it or not, we cannot disavow responsibility like we can an 18 year old. Also, parents are more likely to go ballistic and be less understanding. As I've said elsewhere they will blame you and after they get them home blame the kid. Everyone loses. If you cannot find them in 1/2 hour or so, they may be going home and you'll need to call the parent before they get there. Explain carefully how they got away unnoticed.

• It is important to find them, no matter what it takes.
  
• Do not stop everything and make a broad search with everyone. You and whatever adults you can spare while keeping the other youth occupied. You want to keep everything low key.
  
• First check the bathrooms (someone needs to go in in case the kid is hiding in a stall and not responding to queries. After that there are no hints on where to look unless there is food somewhere.
  
• When you find them, explain to them that it is scary to you when they disappear. You worry about them until you know they are safe.