Older youths leading younger youth in a youth group

In a youth program setting you have to be a little subtler. Take the older youth aside, or out to lunch and explain that you need their help in making the youth group a good experience for the younger youth. The group need the experience and maturity of the old youth and the older youth need to help the younger youth know how to behave and act in a youth group. The younger youth will also need the help of the older youth in understanding concepts – In fact, maybe the older youth can help lead programs and discussions.

Another way of using the older youth is if there is a youth with some kind of special need, whether it is specific condition or just a behavioral issue you can assign an older youth to be their mentor and guide.

Having a spouse go along on a youth trip

• Make sure you truly understand your spouse's feelings about being involved in your youth work. The calling to youth work is yours, not necessary your spouse's.
  
• It is best that if spouses goes along on a trip that they have a relatively benign position out of the mainstream of decision making and social pressures (cook, nurse, driver, arrangements person...). Otherwise relationships get too complicated.
  
• It probably is not best for an entire family to be along on an extended trip.
  

Listen and appreciate their music

Know what they are listening to and listen to it yourself.

• Learn to appreciate its musical value (I promise you, all styles have musical value and you can learn to distinguish between the good and bad of each genre.)
  
• Ask them about groups and singers, let them educate you.
  

An unusual approach to a healthy relationship with the youth

One attitude that I adopted when I was almost their age and have kept up over all the years (even though, now, at my age, it is a ludicrous idea) is to view all my charges as “little brothers and sisters”

• This keeps a healthy attitude about the relationship – loving but not sexual ('My sister? Yuck!”).
  
• An older sibling loves the younger siblings dearly, will defend them fiercely and will tease them unmercifully.
  
• Unlike a parent figure, an older sibling is not interested in meddling in a younger sibling's private affairs nor running their lives for them.
  
• An older sibling is “worldly wise” and can help their younger siblings negotiate the tricky parts of growing up.
  
• An older sibling is a listening, but objective ear.
  

Beginning the planning of an Unknown Destination Trip

       When to have it? This is as variable as everything else. Unfortunately, these things usually have to be planned so far ahead (for arrangements, reservations, and publicity) that it is hard to anticipate an ideal time for a location. Careful research of possible target locations may suggest a better time. Unfortunately, the best time for most students, Jan- April, is not a good "sight seeing" or traveling time.

         The first step is to find a tentative destination. Since some things require reservations long in advance, it is a good idea to begin studying a possible location early. Early planning and contact with a destination may reveal something unique that is worth adjusting dates for. By the same token we sometimes need to wait patiently for the "right" activity to come along. It is a good idea to have a solid plan in mind six months ahead of an event, but since only you and your contacts have any idea of what is planned, if something better comes along you can change without hesitation.

       Go to official and unofficial web sites of cities within a 4-5 hour range,. Sort through these to find an interesting area. Do any of the places have some unique activity, place, area? Are there convention centers or amusement parks? Are there any upcoming shows, concerts, athletic events or, if you are really lucky, a festival or fair, during that weekend. A University? Any place that might have several interesting and entertaining sights or sites. Be sure to consider places and activities within a couple of hours of the base community. For instance, one time we stayed in Reading, PA, but spent most of the day in Amish country, an hour's drive away. Another time we stayed in Tulsa, OK, but the primary activity was a working ranch an hour south of town.

       Upon selecting a probable community, find a church in the area that is big enough to house your group – if they have a youth minister or worker, all the better. Call and arrange to spend the night or weekend there. If you do not personally know of someone in that community that can help plan the trip, ask for help in locating a contact person from the church at which you will be staying.

       Being free to be creative and unique is an important part of building a reputation for the trip. Sometimes a trip is successful and enjoyable enough to want to repeat it - but not as an unknown destination. Make it a known destination with a reputation of its own, and allow the Unknown Destination continue to be radically different each time.

Spouses on youth trips

• Make sure you truly understand your spouse's feelings about being involved in your youth work. The calling to youth work is yours, not necessary your spouse's.
  
• It is best that if spouses goes along on a trip that they have a relatively benign position out of the mainstream of decision making and social pressures (cook, nurse, driver, arrangements person...). Otherwise relationships get too complicated.
  
• It probably is not best for an entire family to be along on an extended trip.

Showers and young campers

Every camper needs a soap shower every day. Young campers, especially 6^th graders (although one time I had a group of 8^th grade girls react this way!!!) act as if they are allergic to soap. They will not bathe on their own and getting them to bathe without humiliating them is challenging but necessary. It is best to deal with the group uniformly:

• Publicly insisting that everyone bathe.
• Polling them periodically but privately (so that everyone knows they will be asked, but not asking at a time when the answer might be publicly embarrassing).
• Public statements without looking at anyone (and with a touch of drama): “It doesn't smell like everyone is bathing around here! Do I have to take a 'sniff check'?”
• Offer to let someone who hasn't bathed to bathe at an off hour so they can do so alone.