Breakfasts on trips

Breakfasts for youth can be cold cereals. The kids generally prefer sleep to food. Have a range of cereal types, but not everything requested.

• I usually give a meal group the option of cooking a breakfast if they wish.
  
  • They must make the decision early enough to buy groceries.
    
  • Then they need to get up a half an hour early to do the cooking.
    
  • They must know that they will be responsible for cleanup afterward.
    

Generational divisions

Having worked with several generations of youth (from those born in 1950 to those born in 2000) I concur with the various schemes and descriptions of the different generations. Here are a few observations of my own.

• The dividing line between generations is fuzzy – there is no cut-off date but broad transitional times. I believe that the year 2000 +/- 3 years is a transition.
  
• Even though the descriptions fit the generations as a whole, they do not fit any one individual. Even some groups can be an exception.
  
  • It is good to keep the generational information in mind, but don't let it affect your relationship with any individual.
    
  • Don't be surprised when they are typical but don't expect them to be typical.
    

Games Students Play: "Let's Him and You Fight"

"Let's Him and You Fight" (Be sure you have read the introduction to these "games":Games Students Play)

Normally a youth vs youth game, it can be youth vs adult. Church staff can play it also!

This is a classic that gets played a lot! Someone, usually someone bored and needing some excitement, but also for more devious reasons, will pit one person against another but sidling up to one and reporting something the other person said about them. The report may or may not be accurate or truthful. Truth is beside the point for this interaction. When person number two reacts badly and says something hasty or inappropriate the troublemaker can then run to person number three and report what person number two said about them. And we're off to the races. These escalating interchanges can get violent or seriously destructive.

To break this up:

• First, if you are person number one, don't do it. It is beneath your dignity and faithfulness. Find some other form of fun.
• If you are person number two or three don't get sucked in. If you haven't heard the comment first hand, you haven't heard it. You may say to the troublemaker, “Oh? Well, I think I'll go check that with ….” The troublemaker needs to keep the two parties apart until things are thoroughly out of control.
• If you are seeing this develop from afar – invite person number one to go do something (send them on an errand, perhaps). Call persons number two and three together and explain what you saw developing. You can directly say that you think person number one is trying to pick a fight. (but don't turn this into a You and Him Fight” with you acting as person number one.) and convince them that they don't need to believe whatever person one has said.

A rule for a counseling session

Never make reference or even allusion to something said in a counseling session. This is not something “you have in common” this is something between the youth and their counselor (it doesn't matter that you are that counselor.)

Motivating sign ups

If an event usually sells out, periodically publicizing the number of places that are left, as the deadline approaches, can help motivate.

Annual private meetings with youth.

Make it a practice to call every youth every year to “check in.”

• This may be the only interaction a kid has with the church.
  
• Try to get a appointment with them for a 15 minute meeting (in a public place) “just to chat and get caught up.”
  
• These chats keeps the door open for future conversations: They help the kid remember that you are there; they sometimes turn into important conversations; they are perfectly all right to be surface level; these may be the only connection the youth has with the church.
  
• Make these meetings in a public or semi-public place 
  
  Don't give up if they turn you down each year – I had one turn me down for 6 years straight, then accepted, came in, we had a great conversation and they became active in the church for the first time in his life.
  
  

Meal groups on a trip

Have a rotating set of groups, one of which is the “meals” group for the day.

• They set out breakfast and the materials for making sack lunches.
  
• For meals in, they set the table and any other preparatory actions required by the head cook.
  
• In some cases they do they actual cooking.
  
• For supper, the meal crew may have to return to the home base before the others to get cleaned up (they get the hot water!) and start setting up the meal.
  
• They clean up after each meal including washing the dishes.
  
• If eating a meal out the meal group has to negotiate with the total group and the adult leaders on a suitable place and make the reservations.