It is not just knowing obvious
things such as who the troublemakers are or who has one parent or who
reads poorly. It means knowing their quirks. I have many times had
youth that would let loose with unnecessary negative comments: This
is dumb, I don't like this group, I don't want to do this, you're
mean... Some might have interpreted this comments as being a result
of deep seated neurosis. Most youth workers would take the comments
personally and negatively, perhaps setting up a split between the
two. However, often the youth didn't mean anything by the comments.
They were tired, frustrated and cranky and spoke without thought.
When I would repeat what they had said, they were horrified and
retracted it immediately. (My wife has had the same experience in
public high school classes.)
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