Experience is the best teacher #5: When they've “learned” a hard lesson on their own

In such a situation it is helpful to “debrief” but let them approach you not the other way around – you may spook them and lose the opportunity to help them in the future. If they do approach you and want to talk about it, do more listening than instructing. No lecturing. It is common to want all the details, but you probably don't need to know the details. Focus on what they felt, how they feel now, how has it changed them.